You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
