Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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