"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize