I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
