didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
