hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
