So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
