I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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