can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
