Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
