mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
