So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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