You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
