stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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