Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
