none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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