i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
