tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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