just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Randomize
