they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
