i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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