it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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