That reminds me...we need to get swords
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
