Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Small penises have feelings too.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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