mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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