Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
