Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
