She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
