Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
