I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
