i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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