thus making me awesome and them whores
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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