is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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