If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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