cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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