; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize