I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
