nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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