whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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