In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He shit in the fireplace
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
