I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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