If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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