You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Fuck appropriateness.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
