just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
