it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
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