He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize