lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
