shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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