ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
