DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
