I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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