At least make sure they are 18
Why
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
