somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We had sex on a dog bed..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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