I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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