i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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