he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
