butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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