we have officially lost it.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im having a threesome with these popsicles
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
