dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
