Duck Duck Cougar?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
