Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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