Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
