Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
