and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize