i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
