drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
