Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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