he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
