living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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