this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize