I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
