DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize