His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
