She's JV to your varsity
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
