kristin has been a bad kristin
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
